The realization knowing that I’m not getting any younger, nor is my waistline ever going to be as trim as I want it to be, my skin having lost the more youthful feel and waking up with nothing but aches and pains has me worried.
BUT YOU’RE YOUNG: So, you may say, oh, 34 is young, you have a long ways to go! But, do I? Really? What does that have to do with how I feel right now? I need to take action on that reality and do it before it takes me away.
FEELING AWFUL: I woke up this morning feeling just awful. Not wanting to do my hair (which, subsequently, I didn’t even bother to do). I picked out the first two things in my closet that matched, without so much as a second thought. I have been wearing the same pair of shoes to work since I started (in January), and I LOATHE them. My husband hates them, I hate them, and truth be told, they’re not that comfortable!
BARE MINIMUM: I jumped in the shower, only after debating the idea of showering for about 5 minutes as it was, and did the bare minimum … who does that? I made sure I was clean “enough” and hopped out. Got dressed, had some time to spare and used it to tend to the pets.
HAIRBALL: Now, that’s another topic in and of itself. I love my babies. My birds and cats are life!! So, when I noticed someone left a little hairball of a present for me, instead of tending to it and figuring out which cat it was, I begrudgingly THOUGHT TO MYSELF FOR A MINUTE, “SHOULD I JUST LEAVE THIS HERE ALL DAY”. WHOA! Stop right there. When you, a 34 year old woman “who has her whole life ahead of her“, asks if she should bother cleaning up a hairball…that’s a big friggin’ deal. Of course I picked it up, but I shook my head at myself, thinking, God, this can’t be normal. Which got me thinking about 500 other things.
I’m lucky I pre-bought my Keto lunches for the week or I’d have been screwed today.
On the flipside though, I am doing this AMAZING diet that I’ve been stuck on since January 16. Having gone from 186 to 151 (and as of today I sit at 154 … but don’t get me started on that, I’m already kicking my own ass about it). I haven’t given up or given in and I’ve continued to lose weight, for the first time in my life, and I’ve kept it off! I did let myself enjoy a first time dessert Sunday in Seattle, but that’s all a part of living your life.
BACK TO THE TRAINWRECK: So to those of you who have it all together, those of you with 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 kids, work, have pets, homes, husbands, wives … how. How do you do it and stay sane? I’m serious. This is a cry for help for my own sanity!
NO MORE MEDS: I’ve been seeing therapists for well over a year to help with some of the other things going on, but I need to get away from the meds. I want to begin living holistically, naturally, with a purpose. Anyone who knows how to guide me in that direction? Leave a comment.